I’m losing my mind.  I’m forgetting things that I wouldn’t normally forget.  I’ve been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries, which is only the beginning.  Twice now I’ve left wet clothes in the dryer for a week without remembering to turn the dryer on.  (John is, understandably, not too thrilled that I’m having to double wash things and waste water and electricity.)  I carry notepads (plural) with me everywhere I go because I’m constantly forgetting things.  If I don’t write them down, they’re lost forever.  Sometimes I have a thought and by the time I can grab a pen and my notepad, the thought is gone – completely gone.  I couldn’t find my cellphone the other day and had to call it from our landline.  I knew I had had it with me only moments before.  I ended up locating it inside the kitchen cupboard.  Don’t ask how that happened.  I’m still not sure.  These are only a few instances that I can remember.  I shudder to think of all the things I’ve forgotten that I haven’t realized or noticed yet.

I’m wondering where my mind has gone.  If it’s just on vacation, it would have been nice for it to let me know, along with a date of when it plans to return.  I’m thinking a doctor would blame it on old age and/or stress.  The doctor I had for many, many years blamed EVERYTHING on stress.  I went in for extreme pain in my back and numbness in my left leg.  He told me it was stress.  It turned out to be a herniated disc.  I went in repeatedly for severe chest pains.  He told me it was stress and I needed to relax.  I ended up suffering a heart attack.  Needlesss to say, I no longer see Mr. One Diagnosis.  I’m seeing my new doctor on the 10th but I don’t think I’ll mention my wandering mind to her.  There’s not really anything that can be done for something like that.  Unfortunately, my mind can’t be replaced by a newer model. 

I’m just tired of feeling like my mind is lost in a cloud of fog.  I’m only 39 years old.  Isn’t it too early for me to be senile?

One thought on “Stress?

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