I’m losing my mind. I’m forgetting things that I wouldn’t normally forget. I’ve been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries, which is only the beginning. Twice now I’ve left wet clothes in the dryer for a week without remembering to turn the dryer on. (John is, understandably, not too thrilled that I’m having to double wash things and waste water and electricity.) I carry notepads (plural) with me everywhere I go because I’m constantly forgetting things. If I don’t write them down, they’re lost forever. Sometimes I have a thought and by the time I can grab a pen and my notepad, the thought is gone – completely gone. I couldn’t find my cellphone the other day and had to call it from our landline. I knew I had had it with me only moments before. I ended up locating it inside the kitchen cupboard. Don’t ask how that happened. I’m still not sure. These are only a few instances that I can remember. I shudder to think of all the things I’ve forgotten that I haven’t realized or noticed yet.
I’m wondering where my mind has gone. If it’s just on vacation, it would have been nice for it to let me know, along with a date of when it plans to return. I’m thinking a doctor would blame it on old age and/or stress. The doctor I had for many, many years blamed EVERYTHING on stress. I went in for extreme pain in my back and numbness in my left leg. He told me it was stress. It turned out to be a herniated disc. I went in repeatedly for severe chest pains. He told me it was stress and I needed to relax. I ended up suffering a heart attack. Needlesss to say, I no longer see Mr. One Diagnosis. I’m seeing my new doctor on the 10th but I don’t think I’ll mention my wandering mind to her. There’s not really anything that can be done for something like that. Unfortunately, my mind can’t be replaced by a newer model.
I’m just tired of feeling like my mind is lost in a cloud of fog. I’m only 39 years old. Isn’t it too early for me to be senile?